It seems strange sometimes that I’m a dad. Nothing really prepares you for the reality of having another human whose very existence and well-being depends on you having your act together. Inevitably, it can get overwhelming, especially if it’s your first rodeo. Thankfully, we are not alone in this journey!
First of all, God the Father is our prime example. Scripture paints the picture of a God who is our loving, caring, planning-for-us, inviting, engaging, life-giving, sacrificing Father, and sets the example we can follow. Moreover, many people around us have walked or are currently walking the same journey, and wisdom dictates that we seize the opportunity to learn from them and draw upon their experiences..
The responsibility does not intend to crush or discourage us. We possess what we need, both within ourselves and in our surroundings, to become who we must be for the children God has entrusted to us. Here’s some help for the journey:
Take a step at a time
One of the things that can become crushing for dads especially, is our affinity to want to see and attend to the whole picture. We prioritize ultimate success, such as ensuring our kid’s college education. However, in the process of becoming fixated on that goal, we overlook the daily milestones they achieve as they grow.
Life has multiple challenges as our children grow, and trying to tackle them all at once will lead to many dropped balls.
Take it a step at a time, a day at a time. The daily wins will stack up to a lifetime of the success you desire.
There’s a lot you don’t know, and it’s okay
You know you’re in trouble when your children start asking for your phone to ask Google the questions they used to ask you when they were younger 🙂 They discover pretty quickly that you don’t know everything. You should too. And that’s okay.
There’s so much to figure out in bringing up these little humans, and none of us has it all together. You will make mistakes, You will look back and see better ways you should have handled situations, You will encounter numerous opportunities where you may feel uncertain and unsure of how to respond.That’s alright.
Fix that by constantly learning, asking questions, searching the word of God, much prayer – after all, He has the blueprint for each and every one of us. Scripture tells us that your children shall be taught by the Lord and His word shall not depart from their lips. Take hold of that promise!
Be a (real) example
Children need to see in their dad an example to follow. Their parents are the adults they see and know first, and hopefully, play the biggest role in their character formation. A huge part of that happens by observation. They watch how you talk, what you do, how you handle yourself, how you treat their mother, and so on. Many parents have experienced embarrassment when their children, in a public setting, imitate or share something they have seen modeled or done at home. Make a commitment to set a good example that they can follow, demonstrating confidence in its replicability..
Let your life be authentic. Show them how to apologize by doing it yourself when you wrong them. Let them see/hear you pray. Teach them how to be kind by demonstrating it to them. Show them the importance of being truthful by being so yourself in every situation. Remember, they’re watching every move you make.
Point them to Jesus
I believe the biggest inheritance we can leave our children is a knowledge of God and a personal relationship with Him. Our children need to learn early about God and cement His place in their lives. Inculcate the rhythms of prayer and reading the Word, take them to church, speak about God often, pray and believe together for prayers to be answered, teach them to depend on God.
When eventually our children grow and go out of our care, the only thing we can count on is that God will always be with them. If they know Him, then their paths will always head in the direction they should.
Keep going, dad! You’re probably doing better than you think you are.
For more insightful takes on life, sprinkled with humor that softens the blow with which George lands timeless truths, check him out on his website – georgeoloo.com.