Value-Based Parenting Pt. 1


signpost showing right and wrong

choose which way to go

Have you ever been in a situation where you’re all dressed up, your wife and child in tow, heading to a friend’s function, and while there everything is going on well then your child breaks out in prayer and everyone is surprised at how well brought up they are?

Well…. That hasn’t happened to me yet but the opposite has.

Your child starts singing a song that should not be heard within earshot range of a gathering of Christians…

You start feeling something rise up within you and you know that it is NOT the Holy Spirit or anything Holy for that matter.

The looks you get, whether actual or imagined, sear you. Then you start asking ‘ Where did I go wrong?’ , ‘ where did she/he/they hear that?’ , ‘ who’s teaching my child such?!’ and unless you stop your self-mutilation, you will end up doubting your  parenting skills!

Children at an early age are like sponges and they absorb all and anything that catches their interest and therein lies the danger.

As much as we’re Superdads, if you’re not yet one- hang in there, we can’t protect our Children from every danger. In life, not everything we deem bad is detrimental to the development of our child.

Read about the difference of what is hurtful and what us harmful.

The People of Israel after their stint of disobedience, were taken into Babylon as captives. Among the Babylonians, the threat of their culture being usurped by their captors’ culture was eminent.

In this same place of captivity, there was a group of Jewish boys whose value system was intact.

The unique thing about these Hebrew boys was that They knew WHO they were. They knew WHAT they stood for. They knew WHERE they came from.

A time came when the incumbent ego-maniacal narcissist King called Nebuchadnezzar erected a statue demanding that people bow down and worship it and vowed to squash any defiance to this decree.

Remember the band of Hebrew boys I mentioned earlier?.. well they did EXACTLY what the king said NOT to do.

Why?… I am glad you asked.

Surely it was not because they were suicidal or that they had a problem with authority, but because THEY KNEW WHO THEY WERE and WHAT THEY STOOD FOR . The story is very interesting, read about it here Daniel 3:1-30

When you know your values, decisions become easier to make.

“..but the people that do know their God shall be strong, and do exploits.” Daniel 11:32b

Why did I recount the story about the Jewish lads?!… Values… That’s why.

What are values? Value is the worth we ascribe to something. Values are the set of beliefs that one considers important to oneself specifically and to humanity generally.

As fathers, with every action, we are preparing our children for the world. The world and it’s value system will always stand in stark contrast to the Kingdom’s values.

Teaching our child to live a value-based life is how we win in the world and influence the future for God and His purposes.

It is a clear rule of thumb, that we can NOT give what we do not have. So we have to live a value based life to be able teach it to our children.

So how do we do that?

I will address the fathers today and how to do it for children in a later post.

So how do you live a value-based life as a father before you can pass it on to your child?

  • Cultivate a sense of Introspection

Introspection is basically looking within to gain a better sense of who we truly are. Introspection is the way to gaining self-awareness.

Self-awareness is basically knowing who you are, if you do not know who you are, then you cannot lead yourself and if you cannot lead yourself then you most definitely cannot lead others.

You cannot lead yourself until you know yourself Click To Tweet
  • Cultivate a sense of Circumspection

Circumspection is having an all-round perspective on things. Cultivating a sense of circumspection is nurturing the ability to look at things from various viewpoints with an open mind in order to be able to have an all-round understanding.

  • Cultivate Confidence in yourself

This is nurturing a sense of being comfortable in your own skin. Learning to accept yourself as you are; strengths and weakness, while striving for self improvements.

There will always be someone better than you in something but there will NEVER be a better you than you.

  • Cultivating Humility

Humility is appreciating who you are and where you came from. Real humility allows you to treat everyone with respect. Realizing that you are not the best thing since sliced bread goes a long way :-).

It definitely goes without saying that fatherhood is a never ending job and as you stay committed to self-improvement, you become better equipped to pass on the lessons learnt to your children.

So how are you sharing your values with your children? Let me know in the comment sections below.

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